Friday, November 9, 2012

Bringing our Families Closer Together and Closer to God


What are the benefits of participating in organized religion? 

There are so many advantages to participating in organized religion.  Having a weekly outlet to be nourished with others by the Spirit is a great mood booster.  You know the saying too- happy wife, happy life.  Actively participating in your faith is a way to gain a better understanding of your life and the direction that you are going in.  Attending church on a weekly basis with your whole family establishes unity and togetherness.  You know each week that you will be able to have this set amount of time together.  

Another benefit of attending church and increasing faith in your family life is that it helps you in times of hardship.  No families are perfect and we all have struggles; sometimes terrible ones.  Going to church on a regular basis together though helps you keep a better attitude during trials.  Not only a better attitude, but each family member is developing a closer relationship to Heavenly Father.  

Your church is also an additional support system.  Hopefully you are developing friendships that strengthen and uplift you, and are also there for you in times for trouble.  The social aspect of church is highly appealing to many people.  It's a way to get to know others who have the same beliefs as you.  While this is a great benefit, don't let it be the sole reason that you are participating in religious activities.  Developing a greater faith in the Lord and the plan that He has for all of us, and partaking of the Sacrament is the most important reason to attend church on a regular basis.  Attending church with your spouse is also a way to grow closer together.  Many of the messages that we hear at church can be brought back to our family life and ways in which we can improve our relationships with our children and our spouse.       

While participating at church is a great way for both individuals and the family unit to strengthen their testimonies it certainly is not the only religious practice that we should be participating in.  Family prayer is essential to happiness in my life.  Not only should we pray in private with our spouse, but we should also pray all together as a family.  This invites the Spirit into our homes and increases the love that we have towards one another.  Praying together can decrease contention in the household, promote optimism and charity, and even facilitate empathy towards one another.

How does participating in religious activities affect our children? 
Actively participating in religious activities with our children can strengthen the bond that we have with them.  Don't think that this simply means reading the scriptures, talking with our children about gospel principles and applying them to our lives will bring closeness between you.  Hawkins said, "Kind, loving behavior by parents seems to facilitate the ability of a child to conceive of (and believe in) a loving God, while hostile parental practices seem to dispel a child's faith in a benevolent supreme being".  This is such powerful statement because not only are children affected by the relationship that we have with them but really all our actions.  Our attitude affects our ability to teach our children about Heavenly Father and the love that He has for them.  When we are happy to share our testimonies with them not only through our words, but through our example as well, we are planting seeds in them to develop their own faith in God.  

There have also been many studies done that adults who participate in religious activities have more happiness in family life, better health, better financial stability, and more stability in their marriage.  All of these categories greatly effect the happiness and well-being of a child.  Have you ever been in a home where it is clear that there is contention between spouses over for example, finances?  Take a look at the children if they are around and you will gain a better understanding of how this affects them simply from their body language.  A home that is founded on saving principles such as forgiveness, repentance, and prayer is one that will have less contention; or at least it will be more manageable.  

Children themselves who are active in their church tend to be better off socially as well.  They are also less likely to drop out of high school, have premarital sex, or be involved with drugs and alcohol.  The benefits don't just stop when they are done with childhood though.  Adults who attend church when they were younger tended to have graduated from college, be productive members of society, and better off financially.  

In a study done by sociologist John Bartkowski from Mississippi State University participated in a study of 16,000 children to determine how religious upbringing affected their obedience and behavior at school.  The results concluded that children of parents who attended church tend to be better behaved, adjusted, and socially developed.  Bartkowski also gave three reasons why religion is good for children.  The article said, "First, religious networks provide social support to parents, he said, and this can improve their parenting skills. Children who are brought into such networks and hear parental messages reinforced by other adults may also “take more to heart the messages that they get in the home".  Secondly, the types of values and norms that circulate in religious congregations tend to be self-sacrificing and pro-family, Bartkowski told LiveScience. he said that these “could be very, very important in shaping how parents relate to their kids, and then how children develop in response,”  Finally, religious organizations imbue parenting with sacred meaning and significance".  


Church can be really hard to attend with young kids, any tips? 
I completely understand that it can be difficult to attend church with babies and young children.  I'm amazed at the women in my ward who are able to wrangle five kids while her husband sits up in the Bishopric.  I'm right there with a lot of young mom's who spend more time in the hallway chasing after a baby then actually sitting down in the chapel.  Below are a few tips that I have gathered that might help make the time a church more enjoyable for both parents and children.  


  1. Go every week.  Make it a habit that this is what we do and sit down to talk with them about why we go to church.  
  2. Make a "Sunday Bag".  This is a small bag that has toys, books, and activities that we only use at church.  This will help to keep them occupied when they need to be quiet.  
  3. When your children are old enough to understand the concept that we are quiet at church and do not run around the hallways, don't make it a habit to take them out.  Hold them accountable to staying for X amount of time.  Disclaimer: this will not work for babies!  They are not emotionally developed to understand that they need to be quiet.  Don't fight them. 
  4. Don't run out the door the minute they make a peep.  The majority of people understand that it's hard for children and babies to be quiet.  However, if they are screaming bloody murder you're going to want to high tail it out of their so others can enjoy the meeting.  
  5. Don't stress out- they feed off of your energy.  This is a lot easier said then done, but remember that they won't be little forever and it will pass.  It will take a long time, but eventually you will be able to sit down the entire hour of Sacrament.  
Personal Application 
I'm really grateful for the knowledge that I have gained while writing this post.  I realize that we need to make a better effort to stay at Church the whole time.  Another thing that I want to start doing is trading with Ben who takes Brynlee.  Most of the time she is really good, she just loves to try to walk around and get all up in everyone's space.  I think that taking turns so I can actually listen to the lesson in Relief Society will be a huge benefit to me.  One thing that I want to share is the awesome mother that I have.  She took us to church when we were little, and when we started investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons, LDS) she really encouraged us to go.  Now that I have a family of my own I want to make sure that I do the same thing.  However her encouragement doesn't stop there.  My mom has a wonderful testimony of the gospel and the happiness that it can bring to people.  My sister isn't a member of the church but she is awesome enough to let my mom take my niece quite often.  I know that if my niece continues to go to church and understandings the principles that she is being taught it will really help her throughout her life to make the right choices.  
Scripture Reference
Deuteronomy 6:4-7
4. Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is bone Lord:
5. And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
6. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7. And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

As parents it is our responsibility to teach our children gospel principles that will bless them and help them.  Not only should we be teachign with our words, but by our examples.  Oftentimes are example is louder than our words.  By making every effort to teach and live the commandments we will see our families be blessed. This does not mean that we won't have trials, because we will, but we have the opportunity to learn from them and to use those trials to bring our family closer together.  The only thing that truley matters in this life is the happiness of our families, and it's up to us to do everything in our power to achieve it.  
Sources


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